Jessica Thinks

Today I am writing from Capitola. The weather here is perfect for writing this blog. It's so overcast and cold. I have been here since Tuesday and it is now Friday and every morning has been hot and sunny then around 2pm the fog rolls in and it gets chilly. Today is different. It was cold when i woke up. I am here because my grandma is dying. It sounds harsh to say it that way but I can't think of another dance around the word way to say it. She has cancer and it is killing her. I am here because I wanted to see her again before she was gone. I have stayed longer than I planned when i left my house on Tuesday. And I'm probably going to stay longer. I feel bad for leaving my kids (not that they are alone - they are taken are of) but I would also feel bad if I left and she died. I feel bad every time she stirs around in her bed, because I know she is either in pain or she just wants to get out of here (physically or spiritually - I can't tell) It hasn't gotten any eas...

I know it's been a long long time since my last post. and I haven't had much content for a while now. I have a few minutes to post while I am waiting for the photos we took at my step-sons graduation from boot camp to load onto my facebook. Right now I am 30 years old and I am the parent of a man. WOW! how did that happen? I mean, I know how it happened. It's just crazy. I haven't really been dealing with it, because he was just away at boot camp. It was only 3 months. but now that he is here and I know it its only until the 26th and then he will be going to Camp Pendleton for his infantry training, and then training for his specific job, then he will be sent where ever it is he is going to go. I'm kind of freaking out. I took him to get his first tattoo last night. He got a TATTOO. and he didn't need parental permission or money. he did it all on his own. I sat there for "moral support" really I just wanted to be there and watch and hopefully give him...