Jessica Thinks

Today was hard. I wish I was stronger. I had to go to a conference at my daughters school about her grades. Her Father was there and I was basically blamed for everything wrong with my daughters life. I left and cried in the parking lot. I went to school and distracted myself for a while. I came home and sat with Kayla for about 2 hours doing her homework. I fed the kids and started my homework, when kayla decided she wanted to have her hair dyed. I told her no, and the fit began. One thing leads to another and Kayla is calling her dad and crying. She refused to give me the phone and screamed that she was afraid of me. She is really enjoying this playing us against each other stuff. I got into a conversation with him and ended up telling him I don't want to talk to him I hate seeing his face because it reminds me of when he Beat the crap out of me. He tried apologizing but never actually admitted that he did it. He said "I'm sorry" and I asked him "sorry for what...

I am with a new doctor and she prescribed me Prozac instead of the Celexa that I was previously on. I told her that I wasn't feeling like the Celexa was working for me as much as it did in the beginning. I have been on it for about a week and a half now, and I haven't seen much of a difference, but I know I need to give it time. School is going well. I am keeping my grades up and learning a lot. I was feeling disappointed after the last course because it was so hard, but I still got a B in lab and an A in Lecture, so I feel better about it now. Starting out on the course I started with really set me up with high expectations. I have noticed myself feeling disappointed if I don't get 100% on my tests and thats unrealistic. So I have decided to make an effort to give myself credit when I do a god job, and not be so hard on myself. I honestly don't have a rating for myself this week. So I'm just going to wait until I feel some kind of effect from the new medications.

I'm not sure whats going on with me, but I have been clenching my teeth so bad that I'm waking up with a sore jaw. I wore my night guard last night even though I already bit through the front of it. and now I apparently bit my lip. I have been so tired all of the time. I can not keep myself awake. I finally have insurance again so I am going to make an appointment with a doctor, and hopefully He can help. I went from having trouble falling asleep to passing out before my head hits the pillow. I just want sleep, but I know I shouldn't be so tired.