It's a lot
A lot has happened since my last post. My grandma passed away on October 19th. we had her funeral and I was able to stand up and speak about her. I created a 12 minute slide show that was presented befor the services at the church. I also performed the graveside service. I felt I did as much as I could to memorialize my grandma. My step-son made me cry as a bearer at the funeral in his dress blues.
Speaking of my stepson he left us again. Back down to Camp Pendelton in Oceanside to start his SOI training. It's a lot easier this time around since he is allowed to have his phone and we have been able to talk and text at least weekly.
I saw a doctor finally and after being off meds for over a month I was placed on Lexapro. It's gotten to the point that I don't even know what I've been on. I don't remember if I've been on Lexapro, but it seem so be helping. It's been about 3 weeks so far.
The tattoo shop down the street from my house had a special on any tattoo 2X2". They were $40 so I got hooked up at Inkestry with a memorial tattoo for my grandma, and a tooth to celebrate graduating dental assisting school. For my grandma I decided to get *09. My grandma lived in the same condo for most of my life, and in order to get into the building you had to call her to "buzz you in" to call her you dialed *09. Kenny at the shop made it the most beautiful *09 it could be. (thank you Kenny)
I have had 2 interviews. One I didn't get and one I'm still waiting to hear back - since it was yesterday. I have been practicing all week for my RDA pratical exam, which is this Saturday at 3pm in San Francisco. I can't wait to get it done - and pass it. I want my RDA so I can have a better chance at getting a job.
back on the subject of medication and my craziness. My kids have been driving me crazy. I have been utterly amazed at the amount of damage they have been able to do recently. spilling sticky slurpees in the car, milk in the house, writing on things cutting their own hair, pooping in a bucket instead of the toilet...... and on and on. I'm at a loss with them. I also have found that my hypergraphia - or what I'm convinced is hypergraphia is really intense. I have been denying myself paper and pens unless it is neccessary, but the urge is really strong. I also started smoking real cigrettes again while i was at my grandmas house, and haven't yet stopped. but I am getting ready to since I am going to be filling in at the Dr's office where I did my externship. So I cant go in there smelling like smoke.
One more thing I have recently noticed about myself is my total disdain for the people around me who are able to do the things I want to do, but cant because of lack of time, money, or energy. I feel like I don't use my skills or creativity because it seems like so much trouble sometimes. My close friends might remember how often I used to be involved in creating things. It's just hard now. I don't really know why, so that's something I'd like to explore.
I guess that's it for now. I miss my grandma, i miss my son, and i miss my creativity. At least I will see one of them at Christmas....
Speaking of my stepson he left us again. Back down to Camp Pendelton in Oceanside to start his SOI training. It's a lot easier this time around since he is allowed to have his phone and we have been able to talk and text at least weekly.
I saw a doctor finally and after being off meds for over a month I was placed on Lexapro. It's gotten to the point that I don't even know what I've been on. I don't remember if I've been on Lexapro, but it seem so be helping. It's been about 3 weeks so far.
The tattoo shop down the street from my house had a special on any tattoo 2X2". They were $40 so I got hooked up at Inkestry with a memorial tattoo for my grandma, and a tooth to celebrate graduating dental assisting school. For my grandma I decided to get *09. My grandma lived in the same condo for most of my life, and in order to get into the building you had to call her to "buzz you in" to call her you dialed *09. Kenny at the shop made it the most beautiful *09 it could be. (thank you Kenny)
I have had 2 interviews. One I didn't get and one I'm still waiting to hear back - since it was yesterday. I have been practicing all week for my RDA pratical exam, which is this Saturday at 3pm in San Francisco. I can't wait to get it done - and pass it. I want my RDA so I can have a better chance at getting a job.
back on the subject of medication and my craziness. My kids have been driving me crazy. I have been utterly amazed at the amount of damage they have been able to do recently. spilling sticky slurpees in the car, milk in the house, writing on things cutting their own hair, pooping in a bucket instead of the toilet...... and on and on. I'm at a loss with them. I also have found that my hypergraphia - or what I'm convinced is hypergraphia is really intense. I have been denying myself paper and pens unless it is neccessary, but the urge is really strong. I also started smoking real cigrettes again while i was at my grandmas house, and haven't yet stopped. but I am getting ready to since I am going to be filling in at the Dr's office where I did my externship. So I cant go in there smelling like smoke.
One more thing I have recently noticed about myself is my total disdain for the people around me who are able to do the things I want to do, but cant because of lack of time, money, or energy. I feel like I don't use my skills or creativity because it seems like so much trouble sometimes. My close friends might remember how often I used to be involved in creating things. It's just hard now. I don't really know why, so that's something I'd like to explore.
I guess that's it for now. I miss my grandma, i miss my son, and i miss my creativity. At least I will see one of them at Christmas....
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