HOLLYWOOD - The American Nightmare
I have so much to say, I hope I can organize my thoughts here into something that makes a little bit of sense. Keep in mind this is not a news blog, this is an opinion blog. So, what I have to say is based on what I have heard, and how it has made me feel.
For me this storm of debauchery began with the #metoo campaign. Watching all of the women I know pour out their experiences to support each other and put it out there that we are not alone. I appreciate all of you in your bravery and openness.
The many allegations against Harvey Weinstein became the focus shortly after that, letting us know that even celebrities are not exempt from the shit we all have to go through as women. We also saw that it takes a lot of women standing together to be taken seriously and if you are not the "right type" of woman, you might as well keep it to yourself until someone more reputable shines a light on the asshole who hurt you. The Courtney Loves and Rose McGowans of the industry were not taken seriously without the higher profile actresses and large numbers behind them. This is bullshit. How do you like that opinion? Predators know what they are doing. They know who they can get away with assaulting. They know they hold power over the women who are seen as damaged. Courtney Love was asked on the red carpet what advice she would give to young talent entering the industry and she straight up said if Harvey Weinstein asks you to a meeting in his hotel room don't do it. The reporter laughs uncomfortably and moves on. This was years ago. I don't think Hollywood flinched. I think a LOT of people knew what she was talking about, but no one did anything about it.
Then came the shock and awe of Kevin Spacey. I was not surprised by the allegations against him or his revelation about his sexuality. I had heard a story years ago from a YouTube personality, who had worked with him before, that he was known for being grabby with young men in the industry and that he had personally experienced his very pushy advances. I was more surprised that so many people were shocked at him coming out as gay. There are people (even in my own social group) more disappointed that he is gay, than at the fact that he molested underage boys through out his career. There's a strange sense of priorities when it comes to homophobia. Then of course there's the old stand-by excuse of predators. "I was drunk" "I don't remember" and now the best one of all "I'm going into treatment" I hope this does not help him escape legal retaliation in any way. And I applaud Netflix for taking such decisive action. I LOVE House of Cards! But I do have to say that watching it after hearing the story of his being a creep to young men he held power over, I always saw him as that person. It even kind of helped play into his character on the show, because before that I saw him as Bobby Darin, or the alien from KPAX. He was endearing and I loved him. (Kind of like Bill Cosby)
Then we have Corey Feldman reiterating his allegations that pedophilia is huge in Hollywood and that was the reasoning for his and Corey Haim's drug addiction and the main reason that Haim committed suicide. But he's not seen as credible so he doesn't get news coverage, he has to tell his story on the Dr. Oz show. He basically ruins any chances of being taken seriously by holding back on the names of the men who hurt them, waiting for monetary gain from the situation. Apparently Haim's mother has asked Feldman to stop talking about her son and he has made a statement agreeing to her request. The hard thing in this situation is that I believe him. I believe he and Haim were assaulted in their childhoods by many of the powerful men that were around them, but he is making it so hard to give validation to his claims when it seems that he just wants money out of it. He claims that he is afraid for his life and that is why he will not release all of the names. This one has me confused. All I know is that in my gut, I know he has been a victim for most of his life.
Then there's Louie CK admitting to what he is accused of and being applauded for it. What are we doing? There shouldn't be any statements that begin with "At least..." It doesn't matter what the person does after the assault. I don't care if you feel remorse, or seek treatment, or admit to being gay, or any other lame attempts at being a different type of person. You did this thing. I mean...if you want to apologize then go ahead, but it doesn't make you a better person. You sat on this for how long? now that you are outed by your victims, you are sorry? You might have great comedic timing, but your ability to time an apology so it counts? It sucks dude!
Times like this always make me nervous, because there is always the people who invalidate the stories by lying, or trying to join in for attention. I sincerely hope that everyone involved in any accusations is coming at this because it truly has happened to them.
It seems there are more every day being added to the list of accused, which means more victims coming forward every day. It's like a deluge of sexual assault flowing from the Hollywood Hills. And the saddest part of all of this is that most of the victims have been internalizing their trauma for YEARS. Sitting on it thinking it was just a part of the industry, or that they were the only ones. There is something empowering about a group of people struggling with the same issues. That is what makes support groups work. I hope all of these men and women come together and find a way to heal.
It makes me think about all of the children in Hollywood, and I pray for them, that their parents are vigilant and have their eyes wide open about the way that power can be abused. And that they realize that no matter how prepared your child might be to address "stranger danger" or other warning signs, it doesn't mean they will have the courage to go against a scary adult or ruin what they think you are excited about, by telling you what has happened to them. The world is a scary place as a parent and as a woman. There's strength in numbers and there is strength in open communication. Let's stand behind each other and watch out for each other and talk to each other.
For me this storm of debauchery began with the #metoo campaign. Watching all of the women I know pour out their experiences to support each other and put it out there that we are not alone. I appreciate all of you in your bravery and openness.
The many allegations against Harvey Weinstein became the focus shortly after that, letting us know that even celebrities are not exempt from the shit we all have to go through as women. We also saw that it takes a lot of women standing together to be taken seriously and if you are not the "right type" of woman, you might as well keep it to yourself until someone more reputable shines a light on the asshole who hurt you. The Courtney Loves and Rose McGowans of the industry were not taken seriously without the higher profile actresses and large numbers behind them. This is bullshit. How do you like that opinion? Predators know what they are doing. They know who they can get away with assaulting. They know they hold power over the women who are seen as damaged. Courtney Love was asked on the red carpet what advice she would give to young talent entering the industry and she straight up said if Harvey Weinstein asks you to a meeting in his hotel room don't do it. The reporter laughs uncomfortably and moves on. This was years ago. I don't think Hollywood flinched. I think a LOT of people knew what she was talking about, but no one did anything about it.
Then came the shock and awe of Kevin Spacey. I was not surprised by the allegations against him or his revelation about his sexuality. I had heard a story years ago from a YouTube personality, who had worked with him before, that he was known for being grabby with young men in the industry and that he had personally experienced his very pushy advances. I was more surprised that so many people were shocked at him coming out as gay. There are people (even in my own social group) more disappointed that he is gay, than at the fact that he molested underage boys through out his career. There's a strange sense of priorities when it comes to homophobia. Then of course there's the old stand-by excuse of predators. "I was drunk" "I don't remember" and now the best one of all "I'm going into treatment" I hope this does not help him escape legal retaliation in any way. And I applaud Netflix for taking such decisive action. I LOVE House of Cards! But I do have to say that watching it after hearing the story of his being a creep to young men he held power over, I always saw him as that person. It even kind of helped play into his character on the show, because before that I saw him as Bobby Darin, or the alien from KPAX. He was endearing and I loved him. (Kind of like Bill Cosby)
Then we have Corey Feldman reiterating his allegations that pedophilia is huge in Hollywood and that was the reasoning for his and Corey Haim's drug addiction and the main reason that Haim committed suicide. But he's not seen as credible so he doesn't get news coverage, he has to tell his story on the Dr. Oz show. He basically ruins any chances of being taken seriously by holding back on the names of the men who hurt them, waiting for monetary gain from the situation. Apparently Haim's mother has asked Feldman to stop talking about her son and he has made a statement agreeing to her request. The hard thing in this situation is that I believe him. I believe he and Haim were assaulted in their childhoods by many of the powerful men that were around them, but he is making it so hard to give validation to his claims when it seems that he just wants money out of it. He claims that he is afraid for his life and that is why he will not release all of the names. This one has me confused. All I know is that in my gut, I know he has been a victim for most of his life.
Then there's Louie CK admitting to what he is accused of and being applauded for it. What are we doing? There shouldn't be any statements that begin with "At least..." It doesn't matter what the person does after the assault. I don't care if you feel remorse, or seek treatment, or admit to being gay, or any other lame attempts at being a different type of person. You did this thing. I mean...if you want to apologize then go ahead, but it doesn't make you a better person. You sat on this for how long? now that you are outed by your victims, you are sorry? You might have great comedic timing, but your ability to time an apology so it counts? It sucks dude!
Times like this always make me nervous, because there is always the people who invalidate the stories by lying, or trying to join in for attention. I sincerely hope that everyone involved in any accusations is coming at this because it truly has happened to them.
It seems there are more every day being added to the list of accused, which means more victims coming forward every day. It's like a deluge of sexual assault flowing from the Hollywood Hills. And the saddest part of all of this is that most of the victims have been internalizing their trauma for YEARS. Sitting on it thinking it was just a part of the industry, or that they were the only ones. There is something empowering about a group of people struggling with the same issues. That is what makes support groups work. I hope all of these men and women come together and find a way to heal.
It makes me think about all of the children in Hollywood, and I pray for them, that their parents are vigilant and have their eyes wide open about the way that power can be abused. And that they realize that no matter how prepared your child might be to address "stranger danger" or other warning signs, it doesn't mean they will have the courage to go against a scary adult or ruin what they think you are excited about, by telling you what has happened to them. The world is a scary place as a parent and as a woman. There's strength in numbers and there is strength in open communication. Let's stand behind each other and watch out for each other and talk to each other.
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