Things they are a'changin.
Since my last stressed out post I have resolved some things and created new issues. I even resolved some of those new issues. I went on a few interviews, got a new job(which is full time), quit my old job(which was very hard to do), sent my girls away to visit my Mom and Sister so I could sort things out, found new daycare for the girls had to give notice to the old sitter (who was amazing - Abby loved her and so did I), started my new job, realized how hard it is gong to be to go to school and work full time, but decided to go for it anyway, realized I have no money until I get paid for the first time and I might not get my school books in time to start my classes, but decided to figure it out when the money comes, and I created a really long run on sentence!
Things are looking up, in a very stressful busy way but still up. Plenty of people do work and school full time and still have time and energy to take care of their families. I can figure it out and make it work. The hard part for me is that I was looking forward to being free to volunteer in Abby's kindergarten class this year. With Kayla I worked full time, with Lydia I had Abby at home, and this was going to be my chance to be involved in their school. The only way I can make myself feel better about this is to tell myself that at least it's fair. Kayla and Lydia can't get jealous.
My girls are feeling my absence though and that is hard, but once school starts they won't notice so much. I will have Wednesdays off most of the time, or at least be able to get off before they get out of school, and even though I work on some Saturdays I get out at 1pm which is before my family even really gets up and going on a Saturday morning.
On a very high note. I bought tickets a few months ago to take Kayla to go see Mike Falzone and Meghan Tonjes in San Francisco. They are two Youtubers that I have been following for years. I am so excited and this is Kayla's birthday present. She also loves them and is so excited to go see them. I really wanted to try to go to vidcon this year (which is like comic con for youtube) but is was too expensive and it's in LA. But Mike and Meghan are two of the main people I wanted to see there so this concert is so much better. Smaller venue/less people which means a higher chance of getting to actually meet the two of them. I'm very excited.
I'm cautiously optimistic about the next few months. I'm prepared to drop classes if I can't handle the work load with my work schedule or if I feel like my kids are suffering because I am too busy studying to spend any of my time at home with them. I am determined to find a regular time to go to the gym because I haven't gone since I started my new job. I am determined to get the girls out to the pool a few more times this summer before our membership ends and the pool closes, even if I am tired.
Mainly right now, I am just moving along with the tide. I'm not stopping to plan ahead which is REALLY hard for me. I'm just doing the things that need to be done, when they need to be done and trying not to think too far ahead. No amount of planning is going to make things happen the way I want them to so I am a leaf in the wind storm, a paper boat in a whirlpool, going with the flow and hoping not to tear apart or drown. I'm closing my eyes and letting life take me where I need to go. My family loves me and even though teenagers never notice other peoples struggles because they are so wrapped up in themselves. My little ones are extraordinarily affectionate right now, which means a lot to me.
That's all for now. wish me luck in school and my mew job, and just life.....really just wish me luck on getting all of the dishes done today! That's first and foremost!
Things are looking up, in a very stressful busy way but still up. Plenty of people do work and school full time and still have time and energy to take care of their families. I can figure it out and make it work. The hard part for me is that I was looking forward to being free to volunteer in Abby's kindergarten class this year. With Kayla I worked full time, with Lydia I had Abby at home, and this was going to be my chance to be involved in their school. The only way I can make myself feel better about this is to tell myself that at least it's fair. Kayla and Lydia can't get jealous.
My girls are feeling my absence though and that is hard, but once school starts they won't notice so much. I will have Wednesdays off most of the time, or at least be able to get off before they get out of school, and even though I work on some Saturdays I get out at 1pm which is before my family even really gets up and going on a Saturday morning.
On a very high note. I bought tickets a few months ago to take Kayla to go see Mike Falzone and Meghan Tonjes in San Francisco. They are two Youtubers that I have been following for years. I am so excited and this is Kayla's birthday present. She also loves them and is so excited to go see them. I really wanted to try to go to vidcon this year (which is like comic con for youtube) but is was too expensive and it's in LA. But Mike and Meghan are two of the main people I wanted to see there so this concert is so much better. Smaller venue/less people which means a higher chance of getting to actually meet the two of them. I'm very excited.
I'm cautiously optimistic about the next few months. I'm prepared to drop classes if I can't handle the work load with my work schedule or if I feel like my kids are suffering because I am too busy studying to spend any of my time at home with them. I am determined to find a regular time to go to the gym because I haven't gone since I started my new job. I am determined to get the girls out to the pool a few more times this summer before our membership ends and the pool closes, even if I am tired.
Mainly right now, I am just moving along with the tide. I'm not stopping to plan ahead which is REALLY hard for me. I'm just doing the things that need to be done, when they need to be done and trying not to think too far ahead. No amount of planning is going to make things happen the way I want them to so I am a leaf in the wind storm, a paper boat in a whirlpool, going with the flow and hoping not to tear apart or drown. I'm closing my eyes and letting life take me where I need to go. My family loves me and even though teenagers never notice other peoples struggles because they are so wrapped up in themselves. My little ones are extraordinarily affectionate right now, which means a lot to me.
That's all for now. wish me luck in school and my mew job, and just life.....really just wish me luck on getting all of the dishes done today! That's first and foremost!
Comments
Post a Comment