My Face Hurts, and I Know There's A Joke in There Somewhere.
I will be the first to admit that I think I'm dying. Every few days, there is something that I feel or see on or in my body that convinces me I have cancer, meningitis, plague or the flesh eating zombie virus.
When my face hurts on the left side, I know it has to be a stoke. What do you mean "that's not what happens when you have a stroke"?
Although I am a self-labelled hypochondriac, I'm a horrible one. Usually I only tell my husband when I think I'm dying and then we both laugh about it. He is not callous about my health concerns. He just knows, based on experience, that he will suggest I go to the doctor and I will not go. One of the things that causes me more anxiety than that weird mark on my leg, is spending money on a copay to go find out what it is. (I wonder if I can get them to waive my co-pay based on the deep personal distress it causes me...probably not)
All of these facts are just to illustrate how serious I am when I tell you about the thing with my face.
I thought I had an ear infection. my ear and whole side of my head were hurting. It was like the hot poker type of pain you get when some part of your body is being invaded by little nasties that need to be killed off with an antibiotic.
I went in and my ears were clear. Did you miss that part? I WENT IN...TO THE DOCTOR. She diagnosed it as Trigeminal Neuralgia. She gave me anti-viral medications just in case it happened to be shingles. It wasn't shingles. She also gave me a medication that is supposed to calm nerve pain. The pain subsided.
I did research online and found out that this thing in my face probably won't go away, and that the pain needs to be controlled with the medication because if it's not, it hurts so much that the other name for it is "The Suicide Disease."
Around my birthday, I had a little party. I decided that I was going to drink at this party. My medication says not to drink with it, so I decided I'd skip my pill that night and take it in the morning. BIG MISTAKE! Drinking alcohol can aggravate this thing in my face. Skipping medicine can also aggravate it. The next morning I was in hell. I piece of my hair blew in the wind and touched my lip. It was no longer hair... it was a red hot piece of hair sized wire that burned and felt like it set my face on fire. I am not exaggerating. I have burned my hand with a hot wire the thickness of a hair, Granted it was on my hand, not my face, but still...I know what that feels like.
I have not missed my medicine again. Given my horrible memory recently and my utter lack of focus, that is really saying something.
The past three days have been horrible. I am getting to the point of understanding how people can feel that death would be better than suffering this disease. I'm not suicidal...don't freak out. I have a support system and access to medications that are supposed to be helping. I know that if this gets any worse I can go to the local emergency room and they will give me something stronger than what I have at home. What I'm saying is that I get it. I understand how suffering this disease without support and without proper care, and without a doctor who believes you when you say that half of your face is rebelling against your body and trying to burn itself off with some type of self made acid from the inside, even though you look totally normal on the outside, things could be different.
Technically, the Trigeminal Nerve has three branches. The ophthalmic nerve covers the area around the eye, in the upper third of the face. The maxillary nerve covers the middle third (upper portion of the jaw/upper lip/upper teeth and the nose/cheek/ear area). The mandibular nerve covers the lower third (lower jaw/lower teeth/lower lip and chin) Sometimes only one branch is affected, and sometimes (like in my case) all three are affected. The pain is felt in my scalp, forehead, eye, nose, lips, teeth, ear and cheek. It is only in the left side of my face and it is literally like a line was drawn directly down the midline where the pain cannot cross.
I am not writing this to insight pity, or even well wishes. I just want people to understand what I am feeling. I want people to get it. I hope I am one of those people who do not have to deal with this for the rest of my life, but I'm not really optimistic about it. My goal is to raise awareness, even if it is just within my own personal circle. I want my friends and family to learn about and understand Trigeminal Neuralgia.
When my face hurts on the left side, I know it has to be a stoke. What do you mean "that's not what happens when you have a stroke"?
Although I am a self-labelled hypochondriac, I'm a horrible one. Usually I only tell my husband when I think I'm dying and then we both laugh about it. He is not callous about my health concerns. He just knows, based on experience, that he will suggest I go to the doctor and I will not go. One of the things that causes me more anxiety than that weird mark on my leg, is spending money on a copay to go find out what it is. (I wonder if I can get them to waive my co-pay based on the deep personal distress it causes me...probably not)
All of these facts are just to illustrate how serious I am when I tell you about the thing with my face.
I thought I had an ear infection. my ear and whole side of my head were hurting. It was like the hot poker type of pain you get when some part of your body is being invaded by little nasties that need to be killed off with an antibiotic.
I went in and my ears were clear. Did you miss that part? I WENT IN...TO THE DOCTOR. She diagnosed it as Trigeminal Neuralgia. She gave me anti-viral medications just in case it happened to be shingles. It wasn't shingles. She also gave me a medication that is supposed to calm nerve pain. The pain subsided.
I did research online and found out that this thing in my face probably won't go away, and that the pain needs to be controlled with the medication because if it's not, it hurts so much that the other name for it is "The Suicide Disease."
Around my birthday, I had a little party. I decided that I was going to drink at this party. My medication says not to drink with it, so I decided I'd skip my pill that night and take it in the morning. BIG MISTAKE! Drinking alcohol can aggravate this thing in my face. Skipping medicine can also aggravate it. The next morning I was in hell. I piece of my hair blew in the wind and touched my lip. It was no longer hair... it was a red hot piece of hair sized wire that burned and felt like it set my face on fire. I am not exaggerating. I have burned my hand with a hot wire the thickness of a hair, Granted it was on my hand, not my face, but still...I know what that feels like.
I have not missed my medicine again. Given my horrible memory recently and my utter lack of focus, that is really saying something.
The past three days have been horrible. I am getting to the point of understanding how people can feel that death would be better than suffering this disease. I'm not suicidal...don't freak out. I have a support system and access to medications that are supposed to be helping. I know that if this gets any worse I can go to the local emergency room and they will give me something stronger than what I have at home. What I'm saying is that I get it. I understand how suffering this disease without support and without proper care, and without a doctor who believes you when you say that half of your face is rebelling against your body and trying to burn itself off with some type of self made acid from the inside, even though you look totally normal on the outside, things could be different.
Technically, the Trigeminal Nerve has three branches. The ophthalmic nerve covers the area around the eye, in the upper third of the face. The maxillary nerve covers the middle third (upper portion of the jaw/upper lip/upper teeth and the nose/cheek/ear area). The mandibular nerve covers the lower third (lower jaw/lower teeth/lower lip and chin) Sometimes only one branch is affected, and sometimes (like in my case) all three are affected. The pain is felt in my scalp, forehead, eye, nose, lips, teeth, ear and cheek. It is only in the left side of my face and it is literally like a line was drawn directly down the midline where the pain cannot cross.
I am not writing this to insight pity, or even well wishes. I just want people to understand what I am feeling. I want people to get it. I hope I am one of those people who do not have to deal with this for the rest of my life, but I'm not really optimistic about it. My goal is to raise awareness, even if it is just within my own personal circle. I want my friends and family to learn about and understand Trigeminal Neuralgia.
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