The Fall of Santa Claus: When Your Kids Age Out of Your Favorite Traditions
The time has come. The end is near. Your days are numbered Mr. Claus.
I have one rule in my home about the holidays:
"If you do not believe, you do not receive!"
This rule came about because of the age differences in our kids. With the oldest being 25 and the youngest not quite ten, I had to figure out how to save the spirit of our Holidays for the younger kids.
I have been pleasantly surprised with the adhesiveness of this rule. My kids may have doubted the existence of the man in red on more than one occasion, only for their beliefs to be bolstered by their older siblings.
There's something about seeing your 16 year old sisters excitedly clamor for their chance to have their picture taken with the big man at your traditional "Breakfast with Santa" that nullifies the nagging doubt that the little brats in class stuck in your head.
But alas, the illusion can only last for so long, no matter how hard your Mom shoves the mythical man's existence into your traditions. (I have searched online to find the phone number for the North Pole, watched live streams of NORAD tracking Santa, left boot prints on the carpet, snuck into bedrooms and moved bookshelves that covered fire places, ate carrots and cookies at 2AM, bought two different types of wrapping paper, searched for THE present that was requested by Santa, Called Santa's helpers at a University who carol for you over the phone, and so much more to keep the legend alive)
It's got to be one of the saddest things to witness. It's like watching Santa die on the floor in front of you when you see the dull darkness of knowledge in your kid's eyes. It's like the opposite of a glimmer of hope.
I have seen it in all of my children but one. My last one is hanging on by a thread. I thought I lost her this year, but she just asked me if she could mail her list to Santa! I held back my excitement and told her we could.
When preparing to write this blog, I was trying so hard to come up with a way to find out if any of them still believed. I didn't want to ask straight out because I feared that would raise doubt, and my Mom Guilt was on high alert waiting to pounce if I was the one who caused any of them to stop believing. My 13 year old was a fountain of knowledge about her experience and loss of belief. She agreed that the older sibling's enthusiasm kept her believing longer than most of her friends. She also, kindly, informed me that it was a kid who caught their parents on video putting presents under the tree, and nothing I did that killed her belief in Santa.
I think that having a younger sibling makes the "finding out" easier. You can still see the joy that believing brings and you can kind of understand the reason that your parents lied to you for your entire life. So you forgive them (hopefully) and you support them in maintaining the illusion for the ones behind you. Which leaves the baby of the family to suffer the most. Which sucks, but hopefully they don't resent the entire family by the time they figure it all out. I think mine will be fine. I may have lied, but I did it for the love of the true meaning of Christmas...The unfounded belief that a man watches over the things you do to bring you joy (presents) if you are good and wrath (cole) if you are bad. (Sorry, I had to.)
Next year will probably be different and even a little difficult. I don't know how to do Christmas without the belief in Santa. My last baby will have outgrown the traditions that I have been keeping for the last 20 years. How bad would it be to keep the rule in the house to avoid letting the illusion slip away with their baby fat and deciduous teeth? At least they won't quit wanting to participate in Halloween any time soon! I'll just cling to that!
I have one rule in my home about the holidays:
"If you do not believe, you do not receive!"
This rule came about because of the age differences in our kids. With the oldest being 25 and the youngest not quite ten, I had to figure out how to save the spirit of our Holidays for the younger kids.
I have been pleasantly surprised with the adhesiveness of this rule. My kids may have doubted the existence of the man in red on more than one occasion, only for their beliefs to be bolstered by their older siblings.
There's something about seeing your 16 year old sisters excitedly clamor for their chance to have their picture taken with the big man at your traditional "Breakfast with Santa" that nullifies the nagging doubt that the little brats in class stuck in your head.
But alas, the illusion can only last for so long, no matter how hard your Mom shoves the mythical man's existence into your traditions. (I have searched online to find the phone number for the North Pole, watched live streams of NORAD tracking Santa, left boot prints on the carpet, snuck into bedrooms and moved bookshelves that covered fire places, ate carrots and cookies at 2AM, bought two different types of wrapping paper, searched for THE present that was requested by Santa, Called Santa's helpers at a University who carol for you over the phone, and so much more to keep the legend alive)
It's got to be one of the saddest things to witness. It's like watching Santa die on the floor in front of you when you see the dull darkness of knowledge in your kid's eyes. It's like the opposite of a glimmer of hope.
I have seen it in all of my children but one. My last one is hanging on by a thread. I thought I lost her this year, but she just asked me if she could mail her list to Santa! I held back my excitement and told her we could.
When preparing to write this blog, I was trying so hard to come up with a way to find out if any of them still believed. I didn't want to ask straight out because I feared that would raise doubt, and my Mom Guilt was on high alert waiting to pounce if I was the one who caused any of them to stop believing. My 13 year old was a fountain of knowledge about her experience and loss of belief. She agreed that the older sibling's enthusiasm kept her believing longer than most of her friends. She also, kindly, informed me that it was a kid who caught their parents on video putting presents under the tree, and nothing I did that killed her belief in Santa.
I think that having a younger sibling makes the "finding out" easier. You can still see the joy that believing brings and you can kind of understand the reason that your parents lied to you for your entire life. So you forgive them (hopefully) and you support them in maintaining the illusion for the ones behind you. Which leaves the baby of the family to suffer the most. Which sucks, but hopefully they don't resent the entire family by the time they figure it all out. I think mine will be fine. I may have lied, but I did it for the love of the true meaning of Christmas...The unfounded belief that a man watches over the things you do to bring you joy (presents) if you are good and wrath (cole) if you are bad. (Sorry, I had to.)
Next year will probably be different and even a little difficult. I don't know how to do Christmas without the belief in Santa. My last baby will have outgrown the traditions that I have been keeping for the last 20 years. How bad would it be to keep the rule in the house to avoid letting the illusion slip away with their baby fat and deciduous teeth? At least they won't quit wanting to participate in Halloween any time soon! I'll just cling to that!
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