Whining and TMI, but I make up for it in the end!
OK, I know that this may be considered TMI for some of you, but I am a totally whiney woman right now and I am going to complain about woman things, so scroll down if this will bother or offend you.
from here on out I will refer to my menses as "Shark week"
I am totally convinced that I am going to die from this shark week! Shark week hasn't been on for about 45-50 days and it made a comeback BIG TIME this week. Yesterday my left side felt like it was going to explode. I was doing full on Lamaze breathing to deal with the pain, then the sharks attacked and it was like a massacre. I thought that would be it. deal with the usual stuff for 5-7 days and then I'd return to normal, but today.... Oh my! Well the right side felt a little left out and so it decided to out-do the left side. 800mg Motrin barely dulled the pain. Heating pad all day helped a little more, but standing up is like torture. and it's like a super plus every 90 minutes type of day. Tomorrow better be better, or I'm quitting womanhood.
That's the end of the TMI, but I have to say that this hormone wave has been brutal. I feel the black hole of depression trying to suck me in. My husband has been amazing and he checks in on me and my mood all of the time, and has been very considerate and especially loving over the past few weeks as I've been struggling. I feel like I'm definitely over the hump. If you've ever dealt with depression before, especially the type that fluctuates so intensely with hormone levels, then you know what I mean by "over the hump" I'm on my way back to being normal, and It's a relief.
I warned you that I was going to whine so there it was.
Now, since I missed the Thanksgiving blog opportunity a few weeks ago I'm going to make up for my whining about things that are making me not so happy, by talking about some things that I am absolutely grateful for.
I am grateful for my husband and his love and understanding, his hard work and cooking and cleaning. seriously he's awesome!
I'm grateful for Kayla and her love. She knows I have issues and she knows she has issues and we clash, but she still loves me and she finds little ways to let me know it.
I'm grateful for Lydia and her joy in making me happy. Her spirit makes me stop and think before I do or say things that might hurt the kids. She is like I was as a kid. She is easily hurt and her huge blue eyes reflect her true feelings. they can stop you in your tracks when you are about to freak out on the kids for behaving badly. She makes me remember that they are just kids and still learning how to behave.
I am grateful for Christa and her easy nature and for our common ground.
I am grateful for Josh for being himself no matter where he is. My biggest fear was that the military would change him. and although he has grown, he is still Josh. Hilarious, and just as respectful as I'd like him to be.
I am grateful for Abigail and her comedic timing. she is the best at producing the random laughter that I need throughout the day. and her love of music and her new affinity for beatboxing keeps a smile on my face when I really need it.
I am grateful for my sister and her phone calls. She gets me at a level that no one else can. She knows when I am really there and when I am just going through the motions. and I can tell her anything and never feel judged.
I am grateful for our parents . My mom and my in laws too. I think this year has brought a different relationship between my mother and I. I have never been one to call all of the time and keep family up on all of the things going on in my life, but I think my Mom might understand now, that it doesn't mean I don't love her and care about her. It just means that I am in my own head too much and I appreciate the understanding and space.I also appreciate the things she does for my kids. even though I always forget to have them call her to say thank you! My in laws have been so helpful, and I can't even explain how much stress is taken away from me by their actions behind the scenes.
I am grateful for my Godmother. Her random acts of kindness and her facebook encouragements mean a lot to me.
I am grateful for my best friends and their understanding of my personality and for sticking around for so many years.
I am grateful for beautiful photos of my hometown on instagram and updates from all of my friends. I love watching your kids grow up and sharing your lives and loves and art with you.
I am grateful for my boss. He is an honest and kind man, and I could possibly be miserable in my chosen field if it weren't for him. I truely believe my Grandma brought him into my life and helped me get that job. I have never been so lucky, I know she had something to do with it.
I know there is more to be grateful for, but that's all I have for now. Thank you for reading my blog, and I wish you all a Merry Christmas/other winter time holiday, and a happy New Year if I don't post again before then!
from here on out I will refer to my menses as "Shark week"
I am totally convinced that I am going to die from this shark week! Shark week hasn't been on for about 45-50 days and it made a comeback BIG TIME this week. Yesterday my left side felt like it was going to explode. I was doing full on Lamaze breathing to deal with the pain, then the sharks attacked and it was like a massacre. I thought that would be it. deal with the usual stuff for 5-7 days and then I'd return to normal, but today.... Oh my! Well the right side felt a little left out and so it decided to out-do the left side. 800mg Motrin barely dulled the pain. Heating pad all day helped a little more, but standing up is like torture. and it's like a super plus every 90 minutes type of day. Tomorrow better be better, or I'm quitting womanhood.
That's the end of the TMI, but I have to say that this hormone wave has been brutal. I feel the black hole of depression trying to suck me in. My husband has been amazing and he checks in on me and my mood all of the time, and has been very considerate and especially loving over the past few weeks as I've been struggling. I feel like I'm definitely over the hump. If you've ever dealt with depression before, especially the type that fluctuates so intensely with hormone levels, then you know what I mean by "over the hump" I'm on my way back to being normal, and It's a relief.
I warned you that I was going to whine so there it was.
Now, since I missed the Thanksgiving blog opportunity a few weeks ago I'm going to make up for my whining about things that are making me not so happy, by talking about some things that I am absolutely grateful for.
I am grateful for my husband and his love and understanding, his hard work and cooking and cleaning. seriously he's awesome!
I'm grateful for Kayla and her love. She knows I have issues and she knows she has issues and we clash, but she still loves me and she finds little ways to let me know it.
I'm grateful for Lydia and her joy in making me happy. Her spirit makes me stop and think before I do or say things that might hurt the kids. She is like I was as a kid. She is easily hurt and her huge blue eyes reflect her true feelings. they can stop you in your tracks when you are about to freak out on the kids for behaving badly. She makes me remember that they are just kids and still learning how to behave.
I am grateful for Christa and her easy nature and for our common ground.
I am grateful for Josh for being himself no matter where he is. My biggest fear was that the military would change him. and although he has grown, he is still Josh. Hilarious, and just as respectful as I'd like him to be.
I am grateful for Abigail and her comedic timing. she is the best at producing the random laughter that I need throughout the day. and her love of music and her new affinity for beatboxing keeps a smile on my face when I really need it.
I am grateful for my sister and her phone calls. She gets me at a level that no one else can. She knows when I am really there and when I am just going through the motions. and I can tell her anything and never feel judged.
I am grateful for our parents . My mom and my in laws too. I think this year has brought a different relationship between my mother and I. I have never been one to call all of the time and keep family up on all of the things going on in my life, but I think my Mom might understand now, that it doesn't mean I don't love her and care about her. It just means that I am in my own head too much and I appreciate the understanding and space.I also appreciate the things she does for my kids. even though I always forget to have them call her to say thank you! My in laws have been so helpful, and I can't even explain how much stress is taken away from me by their actions behind the scenes.
I am grateful for my Godmother. Her random acts of kindness and her facebook encouragements mean a lot to me.
I am grateful for my best friends and their understanding of my personality and for sticking around for so many years.
I am grateful for beautiful photos of my hometown on instagram and updates from all of my friends. I love watching your kids grow up and sharing your lives and loves and art with you.
I am grateful for my boss. He is an honest and kind man, and I could possibly be miserable in my chosen field if it weren't for him. I truely believe my Grandma brought him into my life and helped me get that job. I have never been so lucky, I know she had something to do with it.
I know there is more to be grateful for, but that's all I have for now. Thank you for reading my blog, and I wish you all a Merry Christmas/other winter time holiday, and a happy New Year if I don't post again before then!
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