An Update on Quitting Smoking
It has been 1 year 10 months and 5 days since my last cigarette and 3 days since the last time I had one in a dream. I do not crave them anymore, but I do miss the break from life that they provided at times. Maybe that's a lie. I do crave them when it is cold and raining, but I don't actually want one, I just love the feeling of blowing the smoke into the cool moist air and how it hangs there longer and seems like so much more than it is because your breath is also visible on days like that. But, those days also trap the smell in your clothes and amplify it when you return to the warm dry indoors.
I hate the smell of them. Which is hard when my husband still smokes. It's a little unreasonable to ask him to brush his teeth, wash his face and hands and change his clothes every time he comes back inside from smoking, so I just deal with it as best I can. I can immediately tell if a person smokes when they walk past me in the store, or walk up to my counter at work. You can't really hide it from an ex-smoker even with perfume.
Everything tastes better, but I find a lot more foods too salty or too sweet now. I can smell more. I feel like I understand my Uncle's sensitivity to perfumes, chemical smells, etc. All of those things I loved (candles, body spray, air fresheners) make me sick now. My poor girls are probably so frustrated with me always telling them that they sprayed too much perfume, they need to put out the candles and I now agree with my husband that there is no painting your nails in the house.
I can breathe a little better (not much though). I still get short of breath very quickly even just with quick walking. EVEN with too much talking, I run short on breath. I know this is probably because of lack of exercise. My cardio is non-existent and I know I need to work on that.
I have less heart palpitations (not much less). I still have them when I lie on my back or on my left side. They have however improved greatly since I started my thyroid medication and gotten used to it. (They got horrible for the first month that I was on the medication. About 30 minutes after I took my medicine, they would start and last for 3-4 hours. It was horrible, but that has subsided greatly)
I've gained about 15 lbs total since quitting. I went up and down and have kind of landed here at the heaviest I've ever been while not pregnant. I've given up soda, gone on a low carb diet and lost some weight recently. Of course I gave up on the low carb thing after about a month. I have kept the no soda thing going for the most part and I avoid carbs still in favor of veggies when it is not a total inconvenience. I will probably start up again at some point but that's another blog entirely.
I realized I do go for my phone more than I did before because I need that mindless fidgeting still. At times I would be smoking I just scroll through Instagram or Facebook and don't really pay attention to what I'm looking at. I force myself to remember the way a first cigarette feels after a long time of not smoking, when I'm in a moment where I'm so stressed I want to say "Fuck it" and smoke. I guess I never really like smoking that much. I am from the generation where it was a sign of rebellion and even a little romantic still, so that was always the draw. People smoking in movies makes me feel sentimental.
This might seem a little disjointed and hastily put together, but I'm trying to be thorough about my experience without writing a novel about it. Which is hard for me, because I like to go on and on in flowery language about pretty much anything. That's just my way.
I was asked what my favorite thing about being smoke free is and it is seriously that I do not have to hesitate to hold a baby when the opportunity arises. Before I would feel it necessary to tell that parents that I smoke and I needed to wash my hands and I was always prepared to have them refuse to let me hold the baby.
Over all I couldn't be happier that I quit. I know the issues that I still have might take even longer than 2 years to go away and a lot more work on my part. Like some exercise, maybe...
I hate the smell of them. Which is hard when my husband still smokes. It's a little unreasonable to ask him to brush his teeth, wash his face and hands and change his clothes every time he comes back inside from smoking, so I just deal with it as best I can. I can immediately tell if a person smokes when they walk past me in the store, or walk up to my counter at work. You can't really hide it from an ex-smoker even with perfume.
Everything tastes better, but I find a lot more foods too salty or too sweet now. I can smell more. I feel like I understand my Uncle's sensitivity to perfumes, chemical smells, etc. All of those things I loved (candles, body spray, air fresheners) make me sick now. My poor girls are probably so frustrated with me always telling them that they sprayed too much perfume, they need to put out the candles and I now agree with my husband that there is no painting your nails in the house.
I can breathe a little better (not much though). I still get short of breath very quickly even just with quick walking. EVEN with too much talking, I run short on breath. I know this is probably because of lack of exercise. My cardio is non-existent and I know I need to work on that.
I have less heart palpitations (not much less). I still have them when I lie on my back or on my left side. They have however improved greatly since I started my thyroid medication and gotten used to it. (They got horrible for the first month that I was on the medication. About 30 minutes after I took my medicine, they would start and last for 3-4 hours. It was horrible, but that has subsided greatly)
I've gained about 15 lbs total since quitting. I went up and down and have kind of landed here at the heaviest I've ever been while not pregnant. I've given up soda, gone on a low carb diet and lost some weight recently. Of course I gave up on the low carb thing after about a month. I have kept the no soda thing going for the most part and I avoid carbs still in favor of veggies when it is not a total inconvenience. I will probably start up again at some point but that's another blog entirely.
I realized I do go for my phone more than I did before because I need that mindless fidgeting still. At times I would be smoking I just scroll through Instagram or Facebook and don't really pay attention to what I'm looking at. I force myself to remember the way a first cigarette feels after a long time of not smoking, when I'm in a moment where I'm so stressed I want to say "Fuck it" and smoke. I guess I never really like smoking that much. I am from the generation where it was a sign of rebellion and even a little romantic still, so that was always the draw. People smoking in movies makes me feel sentimental.
This might seem a little disjointed and hastily put together, but I'm trying to be thorough about my experience without writing a novel about it. Which is hard for me, because I like to go on and on in flowery language about pretty much anything. That's just my way.
I was asked what my favorite thing about being smoke free is and it is seriously that I do not have to hesitate to hold a baby when the opportunity arises. Before I would feel it necessary to tell that parents that I smoke and I needed to wash my hands and I was always prepared to have them refuse to let me hold the baby.
Over all I couldn't be happier that I quit. I know the issues that I still have might take even longer than 2 years to go away and a lot more work on my part. Like some exercise, maybe...
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