Bad day

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I'm having a bad day. I hurt my back last night and it was still hurting badly when I woke up. I wanted to get the girls' room clean today, but that didn't happen. I had to take some pain medication just to sit peacefully on the couch. Josh took me to pick up the new phones Steve and I got. I wasn't thinking and I had them set up Steve's phone while I was in the store, which meant the phone he had with him at work today was useless.
I fell asleep on the couch because I finally wasn't hurting so bad. Steve wasn't in such a great mood when he got home and I felt bad because the phone was frustrating him. I always get anxious when he is frustrated because I have a problem, where I take responsibility for whatever is irritating him. Even if it's not my fault. Then I feel guilty.
Even though my back really hurts I feel like I shouldn't complain because Steve's back hurts every day. He has to take the same meds I took (once) every day just to be able to work and function. So I have been feeling anxious, guilty and sorry for myself all day plus the pain. At least there was no work today - or school for the kids.
Josh is leaving again tomorrow, but will be back in a few weeks for his pre-deployment leave. That is going to be a bittersweet visit for sure.

My poor niece is really sad because her grandma passed away today. I wish I could give her some comfort, but I still haven't grieved for my grandma really, so it's hard for me to know what to say to her. I'm sorry for your loss doesn't seem to cut it. What I really want to say is, I'm glad you cried. I'm glad you had the chance to react to the news. You will miss her, but it will be ok. and I love you!

I'm tired and I haven't had to get up early for 5 days. so I am going to bed.

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